Elleray Social Club: Forming new friendships later in life

Growing older can bring more time to relax, fewer daily pressures and the chance to spend more time enjoying hobbies and family. Yet for some, it also brings a quieter, less welcome visitor – social isolation and loneliness.

This can creep in gradually, often unnoticed at first, until suddenly the days seem longer and emptier and the phone seldom rings.

This is a story about just such a person, who we'll call Mary Parsons. Her story is typical of that of many of Elleray Social Club's members - you probably know or know of someone just like her.

Married with two children, Mary lived with her husband John in a quiet street in Teddington. When she was younger, she and John used to enjoy evenings out by themselves or with friends and they often visited their children, both of whom lived relatively close by. But as the years went by, her children's work took them far away and many of her friends also moved out of the area to be closer to their own families.

Going out became more of an effort and she and her husband spent more and more time alone at home watching television, reading and reminiscing about the holidays and other good times they had enjoyed together.

When her John died, she suddenly found herself very much alone. She had got completely out of the habit of making new friends. The very thought of joining clubs or taking part in classes or social activities where the other participants would be complete strangers was daunting.

She knew that she should make efforts to cultivate new friendships but didn't know where to begin and kept putting it off. That was when one of her neighbours, concerned that she was becoming more and more isolated, told her about Elleray Social Club at the Elleray Centre in Teddington.

In fact, this neighbour not only told her about the club, but telephoned the office and explained that she would like to take Mary there and help her settle in to a new social environment. When they both arrived, the club manager had arranged for someone to meet them, show them round, explain what was going on and, most importantly introduce Mary to some of the members.

After a few visits, Mary began to feel more comfortable and gained the confidence to make her own way to the centre and forge new friendships. She particularly enjoys the singing and line dancing sessions and usually has lunch on the days that these activities take place. Her life, which had become rather lonely and boring, was, at a stroke, reinvigorated.

Now, Mary is one of the Elleray Social Club's most enthusiastic members and is a completely different person!

So, if you know someone that you feel would benefit from meeting new friends and engaging in activities and games that reawaken their zest for life, please tell them about Elleray Social Club. Encourage them to come along and see what they can offer, or even come along with them. Call a manager and explain the situation and she will lay on an especially welcoming reception for you both.

At the end of last year the social club moved in the magnificent new Elleray Centre in the heart of Teddington and it's warm, comfortable and very welcoming. Every weekday there is a range of activities, games and quizzes to help keep members fit, healthy and entertained and serve a nourishing home cooked lunch. There are regular trips to local attractions and there's also a professional hair salon and a visiting chiropodist. Truly, there is never a dull moment!