Understand more about self-harm and suicide

With the right support you can find your way forward

About self-harm and suicide

Self-harm is when you intentionally harm yourself either through physical injury, or by putting yourself in danger.

Examples include: Self-cutting, scratching, burning, hitting, taking drugs, risk-taking behaviour, self-neglect, disordered eating and overdosing.

If you are self-harming, you may sometimes feel suicidal, but this doesn’t always mean you want to end your life. You may just want to stop the feelings because it all feels too much, or you wish things were different.

Some reasons why we self-harm

Anyone might self-harm. Everyone’s reason for doing so is different.

Letting out feelings can be really difficult. But holding them in can get overwhelming, so sometimes we do things that might hurt ourselves as a way of coping instead.

Self-harm may help control emotional stress. It might also be used:

to let out feelings you don’t know what to do with, or can’t show any other way
to cope with difficult thoughts and lessen their intensity
to punish yourself when you feel bad
to feel something or ground yourself if you feel numb or disconnected
to let people see you’re struggling so they can help.

The self-harm cycle

It’s really important to ask for help as self-harm can become a habit and addictive:

Guilt & embarassment, Difficult feelings & events, Feels too much, Self-harm, Temporary relief. Ask for help: Talk to a trusted adult, counsellor or call a helpline. Break the cycle. Distraction: 1 minute’s distraction can stop the urge

Ways to help yourself

Self-harm can become your immediate way to cope with feelings and it’s not a long-term solution. There are other things that can also work and are less harmful.

We’re all different, so what helps some of us won’t help others. Try to find what works best to support or distract you when the urges to self-harm are strong.

Some immediate ways that might help you (or a friend) let out your feelings in times of crisis are:

slap your leg with a ruler
punch a cushion, or deeply scratch an exercise book with a pen
snap an elastic band on your wrist
hold ice against your skin/your hand

Some distractions might be:

letting yourself shout or cry
painting, drawing, colouring
sport or exercise
music or a good film
writing a diary or creative writing
keeping busy by organising your room

How to ask for help – and where

Asking for help is important. Talking about your feelings with someone is what works long-term.

It’s not always easy to find the right person so keep trying – telling someone less close to you may feel easier at first – a counsellor, doctor or someone at school can help.

Your school will have someone that you can talk to confidentially about your mental health concerns or the concerns you have about a friend.

Your class tutor
Head of Year
Mental Health Support Team
Mental Health Lead
School Nurse

If you are feeling uncomfortable about this you can use the feelings resource (PDF) to help communicate how you are feeling.

If you don’t want to involve your school or college, you can also get confidential help from other professional organisations local to you here.

Somewhere to share

You could also share and write how you feel in an online forum, such as National Self harm Network forum. No-one will know you so you can safely share exactly how you feel with people who understand and may be going through the same as you.